"What Would
The Ends
Justify
the Meanness",
by
Stanley Bing,
Harper Collins
Publishers,
2000,
pages vii to ix.
[This material
is offered today
as
a "found essay"
-- sh]
Contents Page
"What Would Machiavelli Do?"
He would exploit himself only slightly less than he exploits others / 1
He would be unpredictable, and thus gain the advantage / 3
He would be in love with his destiny / 6
He would be, for the most part, a paranoid freak / 8
He would always be at war / 12
He would cultivate a few well-loved enemies / 16
He would have a couple of good friends, too / 21
He would acquire his neighbor / 22
He would think BIG / 25
He would move forward like a great shark, eating as he goes / 27
He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward / 29
He would fire his own mother, if necessary / 37
He would make a virtue out of his obnoxiousness / 41
He would be way upbeat! / 44
He would be satisfied with nobody but himself / 45
He would treat himself right / 47
She would view her gender as both a liability and an asset / 52
He would use what he's got / 58
He would embrace his own madness / 60
He would do what he feels like doing, you idiot / 64
He would say what he felt like saying / 69
He would delegate all the crummy tasks, except the ones he enjoys / 71
He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either / 72
He would respond poorly to criticism / 73
He would carry a grudge until the extinction of the cockroach / 74
He would lie when it was necessary / 77
He would be proud of his cruelty and see it as strength / 81
He would kick ass and take names / 85
He would permanently cripple those who disappoint him / 89
He would torture people until they were only too happy to destroy themselves / 93
He would feast on other people's discord / 96
He would make you fear for your life / 99
He would be loyal to the people who could put up with all this / 101
He would have no patience for anyfuckingbody / 106
He would screw with people's weekends, wedding plans, open-heart surgery … / 107
He would put it in your face / 108
He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry / 110
He would have no conscience to speak of / 117
He would scream at people a lot / 120
He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control / 123
He would follow the money, honey / 127
He wouldn't be afraid to sling that bullshit / 131
He would eat to kill / 137
He would never retire / 142
He would have fun / 144
Afterword: What Would Machiavelli Not Do? / 145
+++
The Ends
Justify
the Meanness",
by
Stanley Bing,
Harper Collins
Publishers,
2000,
pages vii to ix.
[This material
is offered today
as
a "found essay"
-- sh]
Contents Page
"What Would Machiavelli Do?"
He would exploit himself only slightly less than he exploits others / 1
He would be unpredictable, and thus gain the advantage / 3
He would be in love with his destiny / 6
He would be, for the most part, a paranoid freak / 8
He would always be at war / 12
He would cultivate a few well-loved enemies / 16
He would have a couple of good friends, too / 21
He would acquire his neighbor / 22
He would think BIG / 25
He would move forward like a great shark, eating as he goes / 27
He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward / 29
He would fire his own mother, if necessary / 37
He would make a virtue out of his obnoxiousness / 41
He would be way upbeat! / 44
He would be satisfied with nobody but himself / 45
He would treat himself right / 47
She would view her gender as both a liability and an asset / 52
He would use what he's got / 58
He would embrace his own madness / 60
He would do what he feels like doing, you idiot / 64
He would say what he felt like saying / 69
He would delegate all the crummy tasks, except the ones he enjoys / 71
He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either / 72
He would respond poorly to criticism / 73
He would carry a grudge until the extinction of the cockroach / 74
He would lie when it was necessary / 77
He would be proud of his cruelty and see it as strength / 81
He would kick ass and take names / 85
He would permanently cripple those who disappoint him / 89
He would torture people until they were only too happy to destroy themselves / 93
He would feast on other people's discord / 96
He would make you fear for your life / 99
He would be loyal to the people who could put up with all this / 101
He would have no patience for anyfuckingbody / 106
He would screw with people's weekends, wedding plans, open-heart surgery … / 107
He would put it in your face / 108
He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry / 110
He would have no conscience to speak of / 117
He would scream at people a lot / 120
He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control / 123
He would follow the money, honey / 127
He wouldn't be afraid to sling that bullshit / 131
He would eat to kill / 137
He would never retire / 142
He would have fun / 144
Afterword: What Would Machiavelli Not Do? / 145
+++
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